After some time, though, one symptom turned into two and then three. I no longer wanted to wait. I scheduled an appointment with my midwife because she is also a Nurse Practitioner and I knew that she could schedule blood tests that would give us some insight as to what could be causing these symptoms. Needless to say, what we found out was not something that we were expecting.
Yes, we are expecting our third baby. You might wonder why we were not expecting it and I'll let you know. We lost our previous two pregnancies last year. After a lot of soul-searching and going through the stages of grief, we came to the acceptance that we may not have any more children. It took a long time, but we were finally ok with that. Three weeks after my husband and I had that conversation, our pregnancy test came back positive.
The issue that I am now facing is depression and, as a result, losing interest in some of the things that I enjoy doing, one of which includes writing this blog. Apparently, this pregnancy has stirred up some old fears of loss. I figured it was hormonal, but a friend of mine who is a licensed counselor suggested I get help so this does not snowball into post-partum depression. She said to nip this in the bud so we can all enjoy the rest of the pregnancy.
Our baby has a strong heartbeat and is moving around. Our midwife has an ultrasound machine in her office and so we were able to meet our baby. She has been so sympathetic to the fact that we did suffer previous losses. Meeting our baby on screen was priceless to us. We were able to actually see a heartbeat, see our baby move, see our baby be our baby. I can't begin to express how important that moment was to my husband and me and also to our girls.
For those of you who continue to visit this blog, thank you. I appreciate your patience. If you have any stories, please share them by leaving a comment. Sometimes our stories are not as isolated as we may think and sometimes it is necessary to talk about them. I would never want someone to feel this way, especially during a joyous time such as a pregnancy.
Tell me your thoughts!