Monday, July 29, 2013

Extra! Extra! Read All About It! Announcement

For the last few months, I have slowly or almost instantly been posting less and less.  I had started having some odd symptoms.  I had several suspicions, but was not really sure.  I scheduled an appointment with a primary care physician, but the appointment was two months away.  Quite frankly, I was not in a hurry to find out what was wrong.  None of my theories included life-threatening illnesses so I figured I would be fine until then.

After some time, though, one symptom turned into two and then three.  I no longer wanted to wait.  I scheduled an appointment with my midwife because she is also a Nurse Practitioner and I knew that she could schedule blood tests that would give us some insight as to what could be causing these symptoms.  Needless to say, what we found out was not something that we were expecting.

Photo credit

Yes, we are expecting our third baby.  You might wonder why we were not expecting it and I'll let you know.  We lost our previous two pregnancies last year.  After a lot of soul-searching and going through the stages of grief, we came to the acceptance that we may not have any more children.  It took a long time, but we were finally ok with that.  Three weeks after my husband and I had that conversation, our pregnancy test came back positive.

The issue that I am now facing is depression and, as a result, losing interest in some of the things that I enjoy doing, one of which includes writing this blog.  Apparently, this pregnancy has stirred up some old fears of loss.  I figured it was hormonal, but a friend of mine who is a licensed counselor suggested I get help so this does not snowball into post-partum depression.  She said to nip this in the bud so we can all enjoy the rest of the pregnancy.

Our baby has a strong heartbeat and is moving around.  Our midwife has an ultrasound machine in her office and so we were able to meet our baby.  She has been so sympathetic to the fact that we did suffer previous losses.  Meeting our baby on screen was priceless to us.  We were able to actually see a heartbeat, see our baby move, see our baby be our baby.  I can't begin to express how important that moment was to my husband and me and also to our girls.

For those of you who continue to visit this blog, thank you.  I appreciate your patience.  If you have any stories, please share them by leaving a comment.  Sometimes our stories are not as isolated as we may think and sometimes it is necessary to talk about them.  I would never want someone to feel this way, especially during a joyous time such as a pregnancy.

Karina
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17 comments:

  1. Congratulations!! This is such exciting news! I'm also saddened to hear of your previous losses, and it seems normal that this would trigger sadness and anxiety during your current pregnancy. I did suffer from PPD after my first child. I remember not feeling connected to him the minute I gave birth, and I also had a loss of interest. {I did get help right away, and that turned things around!} If you don't feel like blogging, don't. Focus on yourself and your family, and your loyal readers will be here when you feel like writing. We understand!! Take care, and congratulations!


    XOXO,
    Meredith at www.meredith-thelaundrycanwait.blogspot.com

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  2. Congratulations! What a wonderful surprise. I wish you a healthy pregnancy!

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  3. I left a comment but I'm not sure if it went through.

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  4. Hi Lucy,
    This is the only comment that I received from you. Either way, I really do appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment.

    Sincerely,
    Karina

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  5. Hi Ida,
    Thank you so much for your wonderful thoughts and words. I appreciate it a lot.

    Sincerely,
    Karina

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  6. Hi Meredith,
    Your words and support brought tears to my eyes. I thank you dearly for sharing your story. I am sorry, though, that you went through PPD. I would never wish anything like this or that on anyone. I appreciate your support. I am working on getting myself better. It is a challenge but the end result is more than worth it. Thank you so much for stopping by. I always appreciate having you back here.

    Sincerely,
    Karina

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  7. Karina,
    What I said in my first comment is that I wanted to wish you a sincere and very happy congratulations tempered with a sincere concern for what you have gone through. I lost a baby myself. It was and is something very hard to write about because it's so very dear to my heart and personal. I know that a lot of women bounce back from a miscarriage and I did not. I went into a deep depression and mourning for quite a long time. I still mourn him and take time to quietly celebrate what would be his birthday. It was very hard on me because many people just couldn't understand the feeling of loss so I was alone.


    I feel such a loss for someone that should be a part of my family right now. It's been a few years and things are easier to the point that I hope one day I can conceive again, but not sure that is possible with my health issues right now. If in the future I find myself in your same situation I know the emotional roller coaster won't be easy. Losing a child, even if it is before birth was so incredibly painful and broke me into pieces.


    Aside from God himself telling you that everything will workout there is really nothing I or anyone else can say to allay those fears, and for that I'm very sorry. I know that when I was grieving, just reading the words of grief from other mothers was somehow a comfort. I didn't delight in their loss, but it somehow helped to grieve with others even if I didn't know them. So for that reason I decided to share with you.


    I will pray for and already have your little beautiful new addition to the family!


    If you ever need to vent or discuss something feel free to email me.

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  8. Hi Lucy,
    My heart breaks for your loss. I can relate to celebrating what would have the baby's birthday. This month would have been the second baby's birthday/due date. The first one would have been 8 months old.
    You sharing your story is priceless to me and I hope to many others who read it. Your strength in being able to share that is immeasurable. You are right: the pain of losing a baby, in utero or post-partum, is painful beyond words. I do not take for granted how personal it is to share that and I am humbled at the fact that you came here to share something so personal. I hope and pray that it helps you heal, even if it's a little bit more than you are right now.

    Sincerely,

    Karina

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  9. Oh my gosh, Karina!! I'm laughing and crying both reading your post! Pregnancy does kick up the hormones, every single time, but the end result is so worth it. Wishing you the very bes,t the sincerest of congratulations, and a big huge wonderful hug.

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  10. Hi Diana,
    Thank you.

    Sincerely,
    Karina

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  11. Hi Rosey,
    Thank you so much. I didn't mean to make you cry, but I am glad I also made you laugh. I'll take the hug any day and I'll spread it around the house here. We're hug-y around here. Thank you again for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and well wishes. I always appreciate having you back here.

    Sincerely,
    Karina

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  12. Wishing you a healthy, successful pregnancy. I hope you're able to find some joy as you sort through your feelings of fear and loss.

    Hugs,

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
    (¸.·´ (¸.·`¤... Jennifer
    Jenn's Random
    Scraps

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  13. Hi Jennifer,
    Thank you so much. I appreciate your wonderful words of support and well wishes.

    Sincerely,
    Karina

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  14. Yahoo! Congratulations and happy Friday! I have two and I feel like my hands are full :-)


    BTW - my Friday Flash Blog linky party is live @ The
    Jenny Evolution – a flash mob of blogs where you share your favorite posts of
    the week. Hope to see you there -- you may just get highlighted next week!

    Jennifer

    thejennyevolution.com

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  15. After the loss of our son almost 2 years ago to a rare disease, we were blessed with a healthy baby girl. Trust your instincts and have faith. I will be here if you want to talk.

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  16. Hi Jill,
    I have followed you on your journey after the loss of your son, which is one of the reasons why I featured you on our blog hop for the week of Mother's Day. To go on after a loss like that takes an incredible amount of strength. I admire that quality in you and I thank you for your kind words. Especially after the birth of your baby girl, you are an inspiration to mothers everywhere.

    Sincerely,
    Karina

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